Finding self-confidence in a negative state.

As 2021 is coming to an end, I decided to look back at my progress as a writer. When I started, there was no structure for this blog, it was to document my thoughts. I knew that three categories namely poems, articles, and book reviews would be there in my posts.

Now that I see it, I found myself shifting away from the last two categories. Even though there is nothing wrong with it (I love writing poems), this shift made me doubt my writing skills.

And this little negative thought spiralled into a mountain of negative thoughts, and I ended up feeling miserable. And I thought why am I so harsh on myself, even when I enjoy doing what I do?

The answer came out to be my low self-confidence. So, I decided to make a post about it😅


Self-confidence is the “belief in one’s abilities and qualities”.

It is the feeling of trust that you have in yourself and without self-confidence, it is difficult to overcome life’s problems. Self-confidence affects both personal and professional aspects of our life.

From our mental health to our relationship with others, it plays a vital role in maintaining a balanced life.

Low self-confidence affects every aspect of our life. A person with low self-confidence avoids challenging situations and dreads trying new things. It can impact how they view themselves and a majority of the time, people enter into a world of overwhelming thoughts such as “I am not good enough”.


Many factors can affect our self-confidence, let us have a look at some of them:

1. Unrealistic goals.

Our dreams and goals are the motivating forces in our life. They keep us accountable and disciplined to work hard. Setting unrealistic goals and not being able to achieve them makes us lose trust in our potential. It becomes very hard to take even one step towards our goals when we have lost belief in our abilities.

2. Constant comparison.

With the growth of social media, these comparisons have increased tremendously and we envy the life others are living. Their life intimidates us and we start questioning the quality of our life. Comparing ourselves with others always brings down our own happiness and thus our confidence.

3. Guilt about previous mistakes.

When everything goes our way, we are at the top of the world. But if that doesn’t happen, we are heartbroken and guilt of not doing the right thing starts growing inside. Thinking about our previous mistakes makes us miserable and lose self-confidence.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

4. Negative thought patterns.

Having negative thoughts is okay, but the problem occurs when only negative thoughts prevail in our minds. If thinking negatively becomes our comfort thinking pattern, it is difficult to come out of it. It feels as though these thoughts are the ones that justify our pain and damage, but eventually, they hurt us more.

5. Under-estimating your achievements.

Sometimes, we underestimate the things we have achieved in life. This happens because of the expectations that make us feel we could have done better. We start losing our confidence and the belief that we can achieve our goals. Under-estimating your qualities are directly linked to less self-confidence.


Self-confidence is something that is needed to be fuelled throughout life. It is a journey of ups and downs, there are times when we are fully confident and other times, we are doubting ourselves too much.


It is never constant, there are so many triggers that affect our confidence and we need to be ready whenever that happens. Just like I was feeling less confident about my writing skills (even when I was writing good quality poems), we all tend to lose confidence by one or the other thing.

When negative thoughts appear in our minds, it opens the door for other negative thoughts. They keep increasing just like a snowball does while going downhill. Our mind feeds on negativity and finds it easy to think negatively rather than have positive thoughts.


Let’s have a look at some of the ways we can do to always be our confident self:

1. Know your strengths.

First and foremost, one must know themselves, especially their strengths. Doing this will help them in tackling different situations. There’s always going to be a little voice inside reminding us about our strengths, we must hold onto that voice to have self-confidence.

2. Stop comparing.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Your journey is unique and it cannot be measured by others achievements and opinions. Start looking at your progress whenever you feel like comparing because “The only person you should be better than is who you were yesterday!”.

3. Feel the Self-Love.

Self Love is the best love. Start loving yourself. Even if you fail, see it as a lesson to be better in the future. Give yourself break and let go of the guilt, resentment and all the negative thoughts holding you back. Release them because “You are your own best friend and you wouldn’t advise your friend to be harsh on themselves”.

4. Setting a realistic goal.

Instead of setting goals that you won’t be able to manage, set some realistic goals. Always focus on having short and clear goals. That way you can see your progress as you move ahead. Don’t forget “small steps, big results”.

5. Face your fears.

Once in a while, it is necessary to follow a goal that you are scared of. It could be anything, from calling someone to public speaking. You need to face your fears to grow and when you do that, you’ll find your self-confidence skyrocketing.


When I found myself doubting myself and my abilities, I looked out for positive things that would boost my confidence. And I found many aspects in this blogging journey of mine that was encouraging.

They made me realise how skilled and grateful I am, but just because of one little thought everything was messy. I hope this article brought you insights on self-confidence and the tricks to keep your confidence high. It’s all about knowing yourself and using your strengths to stay confident.

So my friends,
It’s time to rest,
All those thoughts,
That makes you lost,
Your mind plays tricks,
To make you weak,
Don’t let it win,
You are amazing.

Photo by Rakicevic Nenad from Pexels

May this new year bring you a greater level of self-confidence. Wishing you all a very “Happy New Year”!🎊🎊💫🌺❤️🌟


Thank you for reading, Ruminative Fam!

© Ruminative Philomath (2021) by Deeksha Bhardwaj. All rights reserved.

33 thoughts on “Finding self-confidence in a negative state.

  1. What a wonderful article, Deeksha. There is a mountain of wisdom here, and we all appreciate you sharing your thoughts and leaning with us. You are a fantastic writer in all that you choose to write. Wonderful write, my dear friend. 💫✨💛 May the new year bring you joy, peace, love, and many blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Powerful article.My writing goal for 2021 was so unrealistic and I failed shamefully. This year I need to change all that. I need to consider my strength and time as well, even though I must try hard to do the things I must do. To reach my goal, it definitely must be achievable.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think self-love is the biggest contributer to confidence. We need to believe in ourselves and our abilities to learn and grow. As you mentioned in the article, we often underestimate our abilities and that leads to low confidence.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You bring up some great points Deeksha and one that I especially have fallen into, is the comparing yourself to other poets.. In the end,,if we believe in a poem enough to post it..that should be enough for us..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. To be honest I’ve lost self confidence. I am afraid to go in public, the reason is my weight. I’ve gained weight again. Although I’ve lost 23 kgs twice, and I know I will achieve that again someday, but yes Right now, I’m feeling this way. A great post Deeksha, you’ve written facts

    Like

    1. The best part of confidence is it changes as we change. All you need right now is baby steps. Start focusing on your living one day at a time. Go out once a week even if you are scared. Focus on your weight and lifestyle. Small steps will take you far. You are strong and worthy, believe this with your whole heart. Thanks for being here, Devang!!

      Liked by 1 person

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